They say everything happens for a reason. I believe that. It is cliche, but true.
In Kindergarten, I was sexually abused by a friend of the family. I never told anyone until I was 18. I didn't see the need to remember a painful incident.
My parents divorced when I was 8 and we lived in Alaska. My mom moved us to Texas and we didn't get to speak to our dad much and lost touch. For ten years I had no idea if my dad was alive, dead or if he married and if I had brothers and sisters. I found him thankfully due to a nice serviceman in the military in 1993. I had no father figure from 1984 to 1993.
We grew up on welfare and food stamps and often, seemed like gypsies. We lived with other people several times in various states because we didn't have our own home. Depending on churches and community agencies to be fed and clothed was normal. Goodwill was a treat.
In 1996 I got married to my high school sweetheart. In 2000 we had a child. After 15 years of marriage, we divorced in 2011. But remain friends.
In 2002 I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus. Two years prior to this diagnoses, I had various symptoms and ailments, but I didn't go to the doctor because I didn't feel it was a big enough deal to do so. I didn't understand what Lupus was and Googled the crap out of it and found a lot of information. I had to wait three months before I could see a specialist. My symptoms involve my lungs, heart, brain, skin- pretty much my whole body. I have experienced pericarditis (which is the sac around your heart that becomes inflamed), pleurisy ( which is inflammation of the lining of the lungs) and upon detection of a particular antibody I carry, decided further children would not be a good idea. I have had meningitis (4 years ago) and mono for the first time as an adult because apparently it's easier for me to catch bad stuff. I maintain my health by working out regularly, eating gluten free and overall taking care of myself. Stress is a big catalyst for a lupus flare, so I attempt to minimize that as well, which doesn't always work. :)
In 2006 I became Mrs. Oklahoma America. I traveled the state of OK and discussed lupus awareness in an attempt to educate as much as possible. I focused on native americans because of their health system. However, the year I was diagnosed, my doctor had to look up the disease in his physician's desk reference in order to explain it to me. I was recognized at the senate for my work on educating the public about lupus. I then became the facilitator for the Lupus Foundation of America in Tulsa. I assisting in a monthly support group and fundraising for about two years.
In 2011 I became very ill. I was going through a divorce, moved out, didn't see my child everyday among other things. I was told I had three viruses that I didn't really have, which were horrible viruses to have. Upon this finding, they had to test me again and send my lab work out of state and I had to wait two weeks for my results. Thankfully, I don't have any of these viruses. Lupus can get so bad (and this was my worse flare) that your cells and antibodies are more or less jumbled. Tests will say things that are not true. It can really mess with you mentally. It did me. I carried about 20 pounds of edema for close to six months, had enormous fatigue and carried a high profile job at a bank in addition to being a single mom. Thankfully it eventually subsided once I got my stress under check. With lupus, you can be sick for months and not look like yourself. This was the first time it happened this bad and a lot of people didn't understand nor ask questions, just made assumptions that I either was fat now, or on drugs (yes I was accused of being on drugs).
I spent many nights with a bottle of vodka on my sofa when I didn't have my child, sulking in my disease and depression. Friends were supportive of me, and a few family members. I eventually found my way out, even after thinking of taking my own life one night. Sometimes I don't know how I survived, but I met a few people along this journey who held me up, called me, supported me and I won't ever forget it.
I competed at a show in Alaska Sept. 29 and took 1st in fitness, 2nd in Physique and 3rd in Figure. It was my way of saying 'this is my body. lupus will not take it away'. I feel victorious to just show up.
I want to inspire others. Support others. I know that if you have faith and determination and a positive mind, you can overcome. It will be difficult, make no mistake, but if I can do it-so can you.
www.lupus.org
www.chazzanderson.com
